Tag Archives: booze

Yo Ho Ho – Pirate-ize Your Glassware

The Goth in me LOVES stores at Halloween time.

Grocery shopping with me is a lot like grocery shopping with a little kid. I’ve been known to buy oatmeal because of a Disney-Pixar tie-in on the box even when I don’t care for the flavor. I am the sort of person who goes “ooh shiny,” or “ooh neat,” and has to have something thanks to pretty packaging. In other words, I’m an advertiser’s dream come true.

Today, I stumbled across Glassware Bling. I tend to shy away from anything that can be called bling in any way, shape, or form unless it’s a jean jacket with a unicorn bedazzled on the back. (I am a child of the 80s. Seriously.) Still, this isn’t shiny gem-like bling. THIS IS PIRATE BLING.

I mean… who doesn’t want to drink out of a jolly roger glass? No one you want to know, that’s who! You can put them on any glass, or probably a mirror or whatever you feel like. And then they wash off in warm water. So you can decorate glasses for your Pirates of the Caribbean marathon and your roommate won’t kill you for “destroying” his glassware (the humorless scalawag*).

You’re not obligated to drink rum from any glass it’s put on but you probably should just to keep things kosher. It looks pretty awesome once it’s applied, although I put it on crooked:

Arr, matey!

It comes with 6 in a package, which is enough for a small party. Or one for almost every day of the week. Whichever.

*Not my roommate. He’s awesome. This is his glass!



Friday Happy Hour: Cupcake Vodka Tasting

My liquor cabinet now looks like a dessert bar.

The thing about cake is that, as with all comfort foods, a lot of the appeal is in the texture. Soft, moist, delicious cake is not going to translate well into liquid form if you’re trying to satisfying a craving. But Cupcake Vodkas have popped up all over the liquor store. After Pinnacle’s success with their Whipped Cream vodka, it’s no surprise people have decided to turn desserts into martini ingredients.

And cupcakes are so popular right now. There are at least 3 cable shows based dedicated to the art of cupcakes, and every town seems to have its own Cupcakery or three (Seattle has 5 that I know of).

I decided to try three different kinds to compare and contrast.

First up was the first brand of cupcake vodka was I able to find, probably due to its eye-catching decorative bottle. Desiree brand has a variety of flavors, including red velvet, which was a sickly color of red that was wholly unappetizing. Not that the cupcake stuff is much better. It’s a jaundiced yellow shade.

What liquid does that remind you of?

It smells like frosting and tastes like sweetened paint thinner. It’s vile. It’s also the lowest volume of alcohol content (30%). God only knows what else is in this. Fairie urine and sugar sprinkles is my guess.

Next up, I tried Pinnacle’s Cake flavor. I like the economy of the title. Everyone knows cupcakes and cake are the same thing. And since I’ve had Pinnacle’s Whipped and it does, in fact, taste like whipped cream, my expectations were high.

Mmm… cake….

It has a milder smell, like being a block away from a cake cooling on a rack and catching the scent wafting on the breeze. It’s subtle. The flavor is a lot like cake, and surprisingly, not as much of a sugar-bomb as their Whipped stuff. It mixes well with orange soda, by the way.

And finally, I had to try Cupcake brand vodka. It’s 40% and comes in at least four flavors, including Devil’s Food, but for the sake of this taste test, I bought the “original” one.

Is the cupcake vodka a lie?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that it smells like vodka. There’s a hint of something sweeter but on the whole, it smells like vodka, even flavored varieties, should. In fact, it even tastes more or less like your standard vodka, albeit a sweeter one with vague hints of cake flavor. The cake flavor is probably stronger if you haven’t just sampled two much sweeter types of cake-flavored booze.

In conclusion: Pinnacle packs a punch if you like a lot of flavor. Cupcake is subtle and drinkable even if you’re not the biggest fan of sweeter cocktails. Desiree’s can be used to get rid of unwelcome party guests who won’t get the hint that it’s time to leave.


The Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster

Once upon a time, I was a bartender. I got the job in the best way possible: I was waiting tables at a hotel. The bartender was fired. They needed someone to cover his shift. The manager looked at me and said, and I quote, “Hey, Tori, you drink alcohol, right? You can probably mix up some drinks for a shift or two.” I did it for a year. It was awesome.

I’m sure there are a hundred billion variations of the Pan Galactic Gargleblaster recipe out there on the infoweb and blogosphere. But one night at the bar, someone asked me to surprise them with a strong drink, and I came up with this one:

I keep a stock of cocktail umbrellas on hand. Not making that up.

1 1/2 ounces of white rum
1 1/2 ounces of vodka
Splash of Triple Sec
1 1/2 ounces of sour apple liqueor OR Midori
Top with Sprite and a splash of Sweet & Sour

It’s strong. It’s tasty. It’s kind of sweet and sour and I’m sure if you drank enough of them, you’d wake up feeling like your head was smashed in with a lemon-wrapped brick.

Do you have a recipe for the Gargleblaster? What about other fictional cocktails? Let me know! I love mixing up strange and interesting new drinks at parties.